chemo sabe

i wrote the following intending to post it the first day of no more chemo. then, in my mentally impaired state, it sounded awful to me. i'm glad i saved it. looks ok now. that's my left thumb up above. see the ridges? i think each ridge and valley corresponds to a two week cycle of chemo. not sure if the ridge or the valley is chemo.
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well it's over except for some recovery time. i have depended upon the kindness of my wonderful and wonderfully competent robin, our loving daughters, our families, our neighbors, and our far flung internet pals. thank you all for your good wishes for my recovery and support during surgery and chemo.

coping with the whole process of cancer treatment, indeed all serious illnesses, is sometimes more difficult for the caregiver than the patient. i have the anecdotal evidence of two friends who were caregivers for their spouses, and of course robin and me. the most difficult "side effect" of my chemo for robin was my mental impairment, which for me was the most invisible, though i did have an odd stuffy feeling in my head at times.

i know that i escaped the more severe reactions to chemotherapy. i did not have any real pain. no hair loss. no gross or extreme gastric upset. no blisters on hands or feet. i still have slightly deranged digestive system. i get a burning sensation in my throat at odd times. my fingernails and toenails are very dry and brittle and one thumb has a painful crack that hasn't healed for more than three months. my fingers feel strange. my eyes are dry and sometimes burn.

i look forward to better health. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

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that's it. not bad for chemo-brain.

i am recovering fairly well. much more energy. still stupid now and then. thumb crack healed but skin still dry. fingernails still odd. i'm happy to be done.

quoting james brown... "i feel good!"